They mean well...
2005-07-05
Happy X-Day!
Welcome to my website about comics. In today's comic, a little bird dies -- could it possibly get any funnier?!?! Find out on Friday. Good thing this site is automated... since I plan to be taken away on a UFO this morning.
Transcription
[[Rabid is lying on his belly in the grass out in a field. A baby bird is lying on its back, crying out.]]
Bird: peep peep
Rabid: How unfortunate! A wounded baby bird! I will take it to the Doctor, for surely HE will be able to help the poor thing.
[[On his way to Dr Quickly to find help for the baby bird, Rabid encounters Rabish.]]
Rabish: Rabid! You shouldn't be touching it, directly -- the mama bird will smell you and reject the little critter!
Rabid: Not at all, my dear, for birds have a very limited sense of smell!
Rabish: Oh.
[[Although Rabid is strictly correct, he is in his excitement waving the baby bird around quite dangerously.]]
[[Dr Quickly now is examining the baby bird in his laboratory.]]
Dr Quickly: Hm... a broken wing...
Rabid: Do what you can to save it! Please!
Dr Quickly: Certainly!
[[A small electrical instrument, a box with a glass front and a panel of buttons, sits on a table. The bird has been placed inside.]]
Dr Quickly: I have placed the bird in my BONALYZER, and set it to 'Boner' -- the reverse setting being 'Debonair'.
Rabid: Ah.
[[Rabid and Dr Quickly watch the bonalyzer as it hums and a pale steam leaks from behind the glass front.]]
<<beep beep beep beep beep>>
Dr Quickly: Aha! Done!
[[Dr Quickly lifts up the tray the bird lies upon, the bird which is now dead, roasted through.]]
Dr Quickly: Oh dear... it seems I put it in the microwave by accident.
[[Rabid eats a piece of the bird.]]
Rabid: I love happy endings!
Dr Quickly: Careful! It's still cooking!
Rabid: Yum!
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